This is a fairly common question. Now I’m no linguist, but I think the response is quite interesting. In Bangla there are many compound verbs where a noun is added to a verb. So in the case of marriage, the word biye is added to a verb. The interesting thing is that the verb added depends on your gender. Men respond with a conjugation of biye kor and women with biye hobe. Kor translates as to do and hobe as am. The observation is that men do marriage and women are married. From a grammatical standpoint, men respond with an active form and woman have a passive form. As one coming from a “proactive” society where gender inclusiveness is valued, the knee jerk reaction is that everybody should use the active tense–Marriage should be active not passive. However, in Bangla, active refers to a single point in time passive is a general state the implication being that for men, marriage is an act that happens a single time while with women it’s a continuous state.

I went out to Bogra and on the way out of Dhaka we passed the brickyards. The brickyards are as the name leads you to believe where they make brick. They sit on the mud flats of the rivers and appear to an uninitiated observer such as myself like rows and rows of bricks spreading outward from a giant smoke stack. The smoke stack is maybe 20 feet in diameter and tapers slightly as it rises up to a height of 100 feet. On the day I passed, it was a little hazy and the brickyards started at the road and covered the world as they disappeared into the haze in the distance. I have never seen such a desolate scene and the only image I can compare it to is from the Lorax.

a friend to me are you small pot
you stare right back from where I squat
with belly round and funny nose
that stretches out quite like a hose

or maybe like an elephant
you bellow loud with grand torrent
but that’s not quite the metaphor
for you don’t spray but rather pour

i’m happy for your secrecy
it really means the world to me
for you have seen me at my worst
and hold true tales best left unversed

i fall apart in front of you
you comfort me as mothers do
you help me up and on my way
but not for long, I’m back to pray